What the Penis Would Say if it could talk

Dear guys, in your busy schedule, have you ever paused and thought about what your penis would say if it had the ability to talk?

Perhaps some could be kind, with soft and charming words if they will ever talk while some would be rude and abusive.

If the penis could talk, it will definitely make it clear to everyone out there how it has the mind of its own; how it can be completely unpredictable and at times, straight up annoying.  It will tender its apology on the lack of manners it posses and how it decides to act on its own accord without permission. It will apologize for the humiliation it has brought to most guys. It will go further to explain that it was created that way; no matter how much it tries to stay calm, it still ends up standing erect at the sight of an attractive woman.

If the penis could talk, it will make it clear how it is man’s best friend. I mean, unlike ladies that may not see their vagina for a while, the guys see their penis everyday and they notice almost everything about it. It is possible to wake a guy up from sleep and ask him to describe his penis and he will do that perfectly without looking at it. That is how close they are. The penis would tell everyone who cares to listen how it is every man’s ego. It will be excited talking about the number of vaginas it has conquered and the different parts of the vagina town it has been.

If the penis could talk, it will tell every guy out there to clear the bush around it once in a while. It might say something like this, “You see and touch me every day, why don’t you trim the bush surrounding me?” It will probably get pissed if after saying all these, the guys pay deaf ears to it.

If the penis could talk, it will warn all guys not to allow it enter any hole. I mean, even though they might love the erection and the pleasure it craves, it is not every vagina that is meant to be conquered. The penis could love the head, the lips and tongue, the hand-job and the wet vagina but their greatest fears are STIs (Sexually transmitted diseases). If the penis could talk, it will tell the guys to quit having too much sex and give his tool a break. It will remind the guys that it isn’t immortal and it can experience overexertion, which could lead to poor performance when it is playing with the vagina.

If the penis could talk, it will make it clear to everyone who cares to listen that it is created to wake up hard every morning. They rise and shine as men do in the form of “morning wood”.  The penis would also tell the ladies that if they are cuddling with a man and wake up to something poking them in the back, that is it’s way of wishing her good morning.

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