Residents of Ebelle community in Edo state were shocked on 27th January 2020 when one Osamudiame Iyobosa returned his wife to her parents saying the woman’s vagina is too wide. The man who dropped his wife at her parent’s house in Ubiaja in a green coloured golf 4 told his in-laws that many people must have slept with Edeki for her vagina to be that wide.
In recent years, the concept of premarital cohabitation has become a topical issue and so many people are clamouring for it to be a societal norm due to the multifarious issues rocking the marriage institution. Premarital cohabitation is a situation where a man and a woman who are not legally married share intimacy in every areas including sex.
The agitators of this concept have in all sincerity put forward some tenable reasons why cohabitation between would-be couple should be encouraged to detect certain red flags and then decide on the way forward. Let’s take a look at three of those arguments:
Sexual compatibility:
Due to the numerous complaints about sexual satisfaction in marriages, people are arguing that it is imperative for would-be couple to test their sexual compatibility before signing the dotted lines. According to the proponents of this view, it will help to determine if both parties can sexually satisfy each and thereby addressing the issue before it escalates to a different level in marriage.
Some ladies have also stated in clear terms that they must see their would-be husband’s ‘manhood,’ have a feel of it inside them to be sure that all is well in that department. Some men have also maintained that they must have a taste of what they want to buy to be sure that the commodity is in perfect shape.
Infertility:
Again, due to the numerous cases of couples’ infertility in the society that were hidden during courtship, some have been arguing that there is a need for a would-be couple to ensure that both are fertile by getting the lady pregnant before proceeding to say ‘I Do’. Not only is this an agitation, it has surreptitiously become a norm in the society. Someone once joked that ‘nowadays, pregnancies are no longer 9 months; that people will get married in January and give birth in April.
Character:
There have been so many instances where people pretend to be who and what they are not just to get the victim to marry them and after marriage, they become tigers or tigress as the case may be. Because of this, people have argued that it’s important for a would-be couple to cohabit before marriage so they can get to know each other in and out.
While the above arguments are tenable, there is no guarantee that people who go through these phases will have a successful marriage. And again, there has been no successful marriage that has been totally hinged on those criteria. On the contrary, the society is littered with egregious issues from people who are undergoing the above phases.
And then to put the arguments in perspective, one of the resolutions is that when the would-be couple tests their sexual prowess and they are not sexually compatible, they go their separate ways and then begin to look for another person to test with. The implication of this is that people begin ‘recycle private parts’ until they get the one that can fit into their standard.
For some of us who are still believers and crusaders of morality, you will begin to wonder if people have completely gone morally bankrupt.
In the days of our fathers and forefathers, people were getting married to people they don’t even know before and they were fine. People were getting married to people they didn’t know anything about their sexual prowess and they were fine. But today, how the narrative has suddenly changed that people no longer care about morals or God’s law is quite bemusing.
It’s worrying that despite all these ‘iberiberistic’ and rotten developments that have turned to the norms, divorce and broken relationships are soaring like cedars of Lebanon.
Sexual compatibility test is no guarantee for a successful marriage and if people hearken to the word of God, all of these issues birthing all these agitations will not spring up. Which is better, to fear God or follow the norm?
