Ever since I realised this I don’t bother slaving away my time, pampering and petting issue and people, indeed and surely they must fall where they are tilted.
Love and association are two things one can’t force. They come naturally and where they are tilted they fall seamlessly. Woo love, by gold and diamond, offer yourself as a sacrifice, if the love you woo and died for isn’t tilted towards you, you will die, dying for someone that barely knows you exist.
Sadly same love one died for, seeks the one their heart yearns, who may or may not recognise them too. What an irony of life, a circle of viciousness.
I once found myself in this emotional maze growing up. I had someone who didn’t like me and the person that showed tremendous interest in me I didn’t like. Would do anything for her attention which I wasn’t getting and the attention at my beck and call I wasn’t disposed to. A tree will always fall where it is tilted!
Stop throwing yourself on people or group where your presence would at best be tolerated not appreciated
Stop struggling and slaving yourself to exhaustion to belong to a group or association where your presence or absence is neither felt nor missed.
Look through the length and breadth of associations, groups, old boys , clubs etc there is always a trend of clique and friendship bonding. They choose their kinds according to what moves them and what tickles their fancies.
It could be intelligence, drinking, high social status ,petty talks of indecent activities, once one does not by characterization and disposition fall in any of them, whatever effort one makes to be seen and recognized as an integral part of that group would be futile and most times frustrating.
There are people who are very indispensable in a group. They are the centre of attractions in any group. Their coughs are taken seriously, their pains and losses, their celebrations and joyful moments, everybody jostles to be there for them.
It is the making of nobody. Influence, impact and leadership aura may be the reason.
Belonging to groups and associations and making oneself visible , usually isn’t the solution. Making oneself available at every turn to attend functions of the clubs, associations and groups may neither make ones presence very remarkable nor his absence felt and may not, sadly cast in stone possible reciprocation at the nick of time.
Why would one die for who wouldn’t die for one? Why would one continues to blink in admiration at someone who barely recognises the blink? A tree will always fall where it is tilted.
The attraction is usually the depth one carrys, the influence one wields, the impact one wroughts and the charisma that scents ones entire personality. If you don’t have any of such, you may as well kill yourself for the group, like water off the back of the duck it will all amount to.
They are the Odogwus, the magnets and the cynosures. They may not care about you, but you would be glad you are noticed by them. They may not attend your functions but you would be glad to attend theirs. They may not call you to celebrate or commiserate with you,but it will be an honour that they picked your call to commiserate or celebrate with them. Until you get to this level in any group, club, or associations you belong to, whatever treatment you get must be taken in good stride. A tree must fall where it is tilted.
Stop killing yourself needlessly to belong where your presence is merely tolerated. Water has it’s routes and channels and must not fail to stagnate there.
Look for who looks for you. Appreciate who appreciates you. Love who loves you and make out time for who makes out time for you.
A tree must fall where it is tilted!
Jarlath Uche Opara Jarlathuche@gmail.com
