Marriage! It is really a bed of roses. Roses splashing all over the matrimonial bed. The fragrance, the beauty and the radiance of the colour enough to make anyone looking from afar desire and pine to marry.
What about the thorns by its stems that choke and prickle that discomfort? Not many would survive such chokes and not many would endure it.
There is no Marriage, no matter how blissful it appears that lacks these thorns. They are requisites.
Managing and turning them into the very integral part of the union not for disruption rather for strengthening is the game changer.
The pains of Marriage are the very ingredients that either make the Marriage tasty or sour. As it takes a good cook to make nothing out of something, it equally takes a patient, humble, enduring person to make the thorns of the roses of marriage into soothing pillows.
I have been around to know how the pains are and how the sweet tastes. Without the pains the sweetness wouldn’t be appreciated. It is the pains in the marriage, the scars, the once in a while strife and emotional scorches that make marriage sweet depending on how they are handled
Any marriage without these pains is a marriage striving in deception, pretence and “mumuism”
Nobody wears the pains of their marriage on the face. Except such a person is a mumu. Marital pains and challenges are meant to be behind closed doors, discussed inside the other room, sorted out without the engagement of a third party.
When you see couples step out, amazingly dressed, walking in a feline way, holding hands and laughing, it doesn’t mean there is no pains in their marriage, it simply means, they are great crisis managers.
Pains and challenges are to marriage what pepper, onions, oil and salt are too good food. Remove them in a food, bland it becomes.
The pain a larva experiences straggling to evolve into a butterfly is same role challenges and pains play in making marriage evolve stronger.
Looking at people’s marriage and desiring to build yours around it, is good, nevertheless, find out first how their pains are channeled and converted into an energy that fuel the success of their union. Just admiring them on phase value, may be misleading. Every man cries ,every woman also cry in marriage . Make up covers some, patience descalate some while endurance , humility and love hide many
The beauty of any marriage are the various scars received, meant to pull and scatter, but were rechanneled for positive effects.
10, 15, 20, 25,50 etc years of marriage without scars of forgiveness of offence, endurance of bad taste of character etc, is a marriage not well lived .
I have mine, until I uncover my body, you may probably think it has been all roses without thorns.
For the many times I had to deal with the thorns of my marriage I thank you lord .For those moments the pains and pepper of my marriage appeared unabating, I thank you Lord for the privilege and the grace to pull through still cherishing my union.
Marriage is all roses with thorns, use the lemon in your marriage to make lemonade and if you must eat omelette in your marriage, certain things must be broken.
Jarlath Opara Jarlathuche@gmail.com
