263 views | Farouk Martins Aresa | March 8, 2021
There are few reasons to believe Black men in dire situations would encourage their children or other kids. Many Black older men abroad with insufficient money for comfort are neglected and disrespected since he makes less money, no matter what. Africa hard o. But our older men abroad share the same life expectancy with African countries. The ugly sight of tattered old black men picking bottles, begging in a cold weather or traffic is too disgusting for children.
We must start talking about solutions to climb out of the moral decay in our communities. Fortunately, our villages have not gone down. If anything, it is still surprising that our morality and culture still hold just as our African languages in the face of outside influence. Otherwise, insanity in the global world could have replaced our well-being. Some of us may differ but we still have basic decency to build on. No matter how altruistic our goals, monitoring to ensure they are is just as important. When rules are relaxed, abuses will creep in.
The reason our Youths lost faith, confidence, in culture and our early civilization is because other cultures, history and old civilizations got to them earlier. Most African elders learned about European history much earlier before they realized African history existed, just before graduating from high school. Once you lay their foundation with European history, everything learned after that is from European prism, view and prejudice of European history and culture. This was intended and entrenched before the days of Thomas McCauley in the 19th century.
Many African countries got it right when they started community services and orientation programs after Youths college graduation. The intentions were great and actually served their purpose in the rural areas of our Continent. Good Community Projects have come like Esusu community contribution, Teachers Training, Community Health Officers (Physician Assistants), Community Health Workers, Accountants, Engineers and Lawyers starting their own projects and businesses at local postings instead of waiting for governments to create jobs for them.
Others got the education and training to look for the earliest opportunity to move to the cities or travel out of the country. No matter how altruistic our goals, ensuring monitoring is just as important. When rules are relaxed, abuses will creep in. Those Youths that have more or better knowledge than their elders, got it because someone impacted the lessons of a lifetime on them earlier. There are lessons we learn throughout life but cultural education must start early to prevent foreign indoctrination from growing roots that shapes our behavior forever.
Adults realize how better they could have been or added value to many aspects of their lives. If they had only known or had been privileged to some knowledge. What we learn throughout our experience could be packaged as education for our Youths earlier. If we are serious about rebuilding African countries, we must decide if we want them to be well informed children or copycats of foreign cultures that are changing with different political parties and sometimes extremist leaders. We must imbue and fortify these children with self identity and confidence that they can be proud of and build on early during childhood.
Based on childhood indoctrination, Africans at home send their children abroad. But some men abroad leave their wives and children at home to attend the best schools in Africa rather than let them stay in Europe and the USA damaged. Empirical evidence and experience demonstrate that these children are mostly underemployed or idle in Diaspora. Others beg to differ: if you want the best education for your children, by any means look for the opportunity to study abroad. Who is right depends on what you want in life, foreign or self salvation.
On the other hand, check out who their models are, in the so-called “civilized climes”. Most homicides at homes are committed by domineering white males, they make up most of the mass murderers and they form the majority of the extremist groups. They went from angry white men to be labelled “deplorables” by Hilary Clinton. Come to find out she was generous since they rose up as insurrectionists against their elected democratic Government.
These are the people African Youths at home look up to for Salvation? Monkey no fine but ime mama like am so. Their women and children respect and obey them at home compared to emasculated Black males’ roles in their families that can be easily reported. Moreover, the Black man is still the only group in Diaspora the system encourages to report to the Social workers after disciplinary measures to his children, more than anyone.
Ironically, African parents send their children back home to learn proper discipline. It is called abuse abroad. You would not believe how these children change on their return from Africa. The same children that complained about: Dad was too strict, worked long hours, did not spend enough time with the family, had a girlfriend etc. You would think Dad did all these just for himself. In reality, he was killing himself to meet the demand of his family. Many of his cohort doing the same hustling and bustling died early of stress and high blood pressure.
It is so appalling to hear during the funeral that Dad died working to death for his family! Dad worked two or three jobs. My husband was a hard-working man. The good part of the lesson is that no member of the family would work that hard again. It is not surprising that Black men are easily kicked out of their own houses, left poor and homeless abroad than they are at home in African countries. Most Black men abroad never live long enough for their Pension.
In fairness to single mothers, they work just as hard or even harder when they have no man in the house to share the bills and responsibilities with. They have no choice. As soon as the same ladies find a dutiful man, they become lazy and work him to death. No wonder they ask you what have you got to offer or if you can take care of them. Those of you old enough may remember that song: Nothing Going On But The Rent. You Got to Have A J-O-B. Why do women work so hard as single mothers and are complacent when they find a “good” man? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hd6o8SDNYHw&list=RDhd6o8SDNYHw&start_radio=1&t=60s
Several studies on elder abuse indicate that a large number of victims are women, but others report that men in later life are also significantly neglected and abused, especially when they show symptoms of disability and in poor health. They require help for their daily activities. When it comes to neglect, the fact is women, because they live longer face more neglect in the community. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0146425