If you cannot learn from past relationships and you keep on making the same mistakes based on beauty, endowment or bleached skin, blame yourself not your partners. There are sober men and women that have not learnt their lessons.
The hype that men can handle more women than women is a myth based on some cultural prowess of men. They rely on this sexual prowess past their boisterous age as a young man taking multiple ladies as wives or girlfriends. Other ladies trap rich or powerful men by one-try. They know their captives cannot meet their sexual needs. Both take advantage of each other.
It was not surprising as the parade of young ladies for the choice of a new Queen of Swaziland was unraveled by a young Nothando Dube that strayed in disguise into the comfort of King’s Justice Minister, Ndumiso Mamba. Despite all the cultural consequences. https://www.news24.com/News24/Swazi-kings-wife-in-sex-scandal-20150430
So is the case of Alafin of Oyo who at an advanced age has an eye for pretty young ladies that want status. He explained that those young ladies decided on their own, after sending them to school, to stay with him. He likes them young and some of the ladies use him as a stepping stone. No matter how the relationships end, there is something in there for both.
However, that of Ooni of Ife is different because he is relatively younger and his choice of women are closer to his age compared to Alafin of Oyo. The motive for both partners remains the same in the case of Alafin and Ooni. The ladies are marrying up to enhance their profiles as symbols. Indeed, the title of Mrs or married men carry some advantages in a society.
Former Deji of Akure was deposed on 10th of June, 2010; for abusing his estranged wife who he claimed was a walk-about. She liked visiting other monarchs around the country. There are various ways of enforcing chastity of women in different cultures but once a lady or a man has broken their sexual appetite, none of these works well. They only instill fear in some ladies.
The discipline and the fear of community ostracization may work better than the curse of mythical repercussions. It takes a great deal of discipline, loyalty and respect for women to wait their turns after a new wife as they get older; before the king gets to them, if ever. This creates resentment within. Whoever fulfil their long-term sexual duties is not our business.
Unfortunately, trying to fulfill the desire of younger ladies with sex enhancing drugs can be fatal. One-night-stand could be the bragging rights of different partners in order to gain access and the privilege of the association. It is enough to claim pregnancy. Stories abound of secret service men that fulfill the duties to younger women that are sex starved in high positions.
We may then wonder why some of the prettiest folks marry ugly men or women. They may prefer average or ugly looking partners after some failures for security and peace of mind. Security in terms of what matters most. It may be your bank account, far from what is in your front pocket. Peace of mind in terms of not worrying about being attractive to everyone else. But neither is always the case. The ugly lady you want for peace of mind to avoid being serviced, may also be attractive to others thinking like you!
How often do men choose their women or ladies choose their men on loyalty after their first old fashioned relationship? When the motive of your new partner is to use you as a stepping stone or trophy for the admiration of others, their motives are beyond their partners. You can only influence partners, not their personal motives for relationships.
This is the reason people say you cannot stop men from being men just as you cannot stop a lady that wants to flirt around from doing so, no matter what you do. Indeed, the higher the risk of cheating, the more pleasurable it is for daredevils. Some enjoy it as forbidden fruit. Daredevils can use the position or prestige of their partners to attract more patrons, even on matrimonial beds at home.
Humans are like birds. If he or she loves you, let them fly away, free birds come back. Out of sight, out of mind. As the mind goes far, it misses a good partner. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The pressure, force and threat to make a partner stay with you can be counter productive. Some partners are forced into open relationships as the price to stay together.
The will to stay faithful comes from within, not from the fear of a partner. The worst that can happen is separation or in some cases turn deadly. The graveyard has some ladies that took out restraining orders against their men just as some ladies have poisoned or betrayed their men. Sampson and Delilah is just a story out of many. Men betray their wives too!
Nevertheless, the fear of seeking compatible partners among older people should not drive young men and women apart. They can learn from the mistakes of others to form better relationships. More ladies become sober as they get older watching their biological cloaks. The disadvantage is their men cohorts would be looking for younger ladies as they get older.
Men love to use beautiful women as trophies just as beautiful ladies enjoy their association to rich and powerful men. In each case, the interest of the man or lady is mostly based on the admiration or approval of others, not solely on being faithful to the obligations of cultural vows to a partner. If there is a lesson the wise must learn from past relationships, it is never to fall into the same honey trap again, no matter how attractive.
We must accept upfront that most men and women are attracted to beauty in the eyes of the beholder, as bees are attracted to honey. It does not mean honey or sugar is always good for you. Libido is not greater in men. It is just that women’s libido is culturally suppressed in the communities. Ladies’ choice of partners can also be younger or older but nobody knows how to choose a mate better than those involved in the relationships.
