Igba Boi 4 – Beer Parlour or Seminar

 

In the 80s when coups were rife, there was this theory called pepper soup theory which was even discussed in political thought at tertiary institutions. The theory as propounded by Alozie Ogugbuaja a Police Public Relations Officer states that coup plotting was a result of soldiers who did nothing else but habitually sit in beer parlors taking alcohol and pepper soup. According to him, it is usually in the proceedings at the beer parlor that coups are hatched and planned.

You will find the apprentice too in the beer parlor for his peculiar reasons. In the first three years with his master he dares not leave the house for fun, at best he might be allowed to play football in nearby makeshift fields that abound across the country.

For a young man coming from the village where only schooling and farming could take up to 4 hours of his time at a stretch, he is faced with an almost mechanized life in the city with his master. His schedule is highly predictable; from the house to the shop and then back to the house, but he too like all other humans need leisure lest he burns out. Sundays are his semi holidays when he at least will have the chance to attend church, have a sweet worship session and maybe meet friends. After this, when he has come of age, the beer parlor comes to his rescue though not as easy as one may think.

Something funny happens here in his spirituality; night devotions at home and going to church is compulsory, he dare not come up with any excuse except a palpable high fever. His master who compels him to piety may be far from goodness himself, but he believes that being piety will at least keep the apprentice from stealing his money or becoming disobedient.

Before now, in the village (where the apprentice is often coming from) leisure doors are not much, at best he might improvise by running from one farm to the other with friends. There are no cinemas, power supply maybe twice for just two hours in a week for the lucky ones so no home movies, no gym except the swinging hoes and cutlasses.

In the city it is a different world of fun and relaxation. Power supply is much better so once there are movies to watch he is ok. The sheer sight of a bustling traffic itself could be entertaining as he watches live drama for free. There are many relaxation spots too around the city.

The apprentice must be careful in choosing his relaxation spots lest he finds his master also hanging out in his chosen spot; a monumental problem for the apprentice, for he must then have to answer questions of how he got money for beer. The boss will be left to conclude that his boy is pilfering the sacred shop-money (capital). In some occasions, especially in the old times, the apprentice risks being sent back to the village for offences like this or if he is lucky will be put under strict surveillance, the master may never leave him alone in the shop again.  

Beer parlor visits is an unwritten culture, a bandwagon phenomenon; he sees other doing in and joins them. Some come as novices not knowing how to drink but learn with time, others never learn because of the bitter taste of alcohol but will sit among friends, taking pepper soup – who doesn’t love pepper soup!

The apprentice doesn’t have exams to write for which he must study, nor delicate documents to prepare except for elementary invoices of his transactions, he doesn’t even have to watch the news stations to know what the government is doing through policies and the likes. He has no business with seminars or conferences, anything the world can throw at him should meet him at the marketplace – and he is ready to take on anything except actual wars.

From his free evenings to the dead night and then the morning, time may be quick in passing or slow and so the beer parlor will serve as an impartial arbiter between the hours, moreover, in meetings as his, tables must not be empty. Only football can take the beer parlor from him. The parlor administrators know this and thus equip their spots with the best sporting channels available; so this young man enjoys the presence of two of his wives at the same place and at the same time.

There are some who run from troublesome homes or wives and so the nightlife and spots become a second home where they find peace, not as if they themselves are always innocent of the domestic troubles.

Just like the library (virtual or real) will provide help to the academic, the beer parlor will remain the apprentice’s open mystery and succor.

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