If Your Partner Insists On No Sex Before Marriage, Something Is Fishy

Sex before marriage

if your patner alway say no Sex before marriage then there is something fishy, Stanley Ugagbe has just entered a relationship with Anita. They hope to take things serious as they have both come of age – perhaps, they can date their way to the Altar. They are doing everything possible to make it work, including the various compatibility tests. Just like Stanley, Anita believes that they have to ‘oil’ to be sure that they are sexually compatible. As an experienced person in the ministry of knackademus, Anita expects Stanley to thrust her to cloud nine. On his part, legendary Stanley expects Anita to be ‘badder’ than the Chrisland school cowgirl in the bedroom. Unfortunately, they are both disappointed after the ‘bedmatics’ exercise.

Determined to win like the two BBNaija housemates who decided to try again outside the house after their initial unsatisfying sex in the house, Stanley and Anita decided to try again. So, they continue to try and can no longer count the number of times they have had their organs inserted on each other. Eventually, they both come to terms that they are not ‘sexually compatible’ and they go their separate ways.

In a few days, Stanley has moved on to the next lady and Anita has also moved on. As they are moving on, so also are other people; because the society has made it the norm. Before you know what is happening, Stanley has ‘eaten’ all the girls in the community and Anita is also not doing badly as her quest for a ‘sexually compatible’ partner continues.

About a day ago, Nollywood actor and media personality, Chinedu Ani Emmanuel, popularly known as Nedu, made the headlines again for his usual controversial reasons when he told ladies that ‘if their partner insists on no sex before marriage, something is fishy’.

Nedu reportedly made the remark on the recent episode of The Honest Bunch audiovisual podcast co-hosted by him. He quipped that some ladies have opened up to him about their husbands’ abysmal sexual performances which they were unaware of until after their weddings.

He was quoted to have said, “If oga is telling you no sex before marriage, find out if he likes it from the other side. One woman don talk for my radio show say, Oga Nedu, I dey cheat on my husband. Not once, not twice. Oga Nedu if na you, you go comot. I said why? She said him prick no dey gree rise. I supported her. Men, I’m sorry. This guy just marry her and he was saying no sex before marriage. Na so the girl enter inside.”

As tenable as his reason(s) may be, premarital sexual compatibility test has not been able to solve the growing rate of divorce in the society. For some of us who are abreast of the statistics, we often wonder why divorce pandemic has continued to surge despite the new order.

In reality, there are genuine cases of people whose organs are faulty in one way or the other and may want to hide the condition from their partners (highly condemnable), but resulting to premarital sexual compatibility as against God’s order, is one of the reasons God has given many of us to reprobate minds. I may be wrong but I strongly believe that if two virgins get married, the tendency of ‘you’re not satisfying me in bed’ will be low. This is because they have never had an idea of how it tastes – so they will make do with what they get. But if one has been a legend, the tendency of ‘you’re not satisfying me in bed’ will be high because s/he has tasted many other ‘soups’ or ‘carrots’ that performed better. No wonder God asked Adam, how did you know you’re naked? Did you eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil?

Sadly, man has in many ways deviated from God’s order and the repercussion is that things keep going from bad to worse. God never approves sexual union outside of marriage.

God, in his infinite Wisdom laid down principles for man in every area on how to best live – marriage principles inclusive. God frowns at fornication and warned that anyone who destroys His temple (our bodies) through fornication, such a fellow will be destroyed. Despite this strong warning, man has proposed in his heart to do as he likes, not as God ordained.

That, people can confidently glorify what is bad in the public while others cheer on is one thing I am still puzzled about – yes, I find it disdainfully worrisome that man has almost completely collapsed God’s order for his own order, and so the society is littered with rottenness.

Can you not see it that we now recycle private parts? You date someone for a while (oiling at every given opportunity) and then pass them to the next person. Before age 25, you have dated 15 people and those 15 have also dated perhaps a larger number of people. And so, like a football match, we are passing ourselves to one another and scoring goals at will.

It is because we have abandoned God’s instructions concerning marriage that we have resulted to self-help in order not to fall victim – yet, we keep falling victims as evident in the growing divorce rates that are being orchestrated by domestic violence, and all of manner of iberiberism. God is faithful to guide us in choosing life partners but because we have made sin our breakfast, lunch and dinner, we are not confident of approaching Him; He won’t even hear us.

Until we return to God’s order and use His word to mirror our lives, rottenness will continue to be on the high side. God’s word has not changed and it remains the standard for upright living. “The monstrosity of sexual intercourse outside marriage is that those who indulge in it are trying to isolate one kind of union (the sexual) from all the other kinds of union which were intended to go along with it and make up the total union.” C.S. Lewis


Stanley Ugagbe is passionate about effecting change through writing.


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