I have been a salesman all my life to know why some products sell and others do not. Aside from what we have been taught in the holy books about marriage, I have concluded that good grooming and packaging, amongst other salient values, are today’s best qualities any lady should have to attract a good long-lasting husband, a real man. My conviction is further reinforced by the failure of marriages of very spiritual-minded couples and marriage counsellors. They knew what to do but could not do what they needed to do, and the cookie crumbled.
Every perceptive mother should refocus their daughters to easily recognise a man’s qualities that will ultimately make a good husband and in whom everyone would be pleased.
A focused guy takes good care of the mother and sisters; he is a guy who believes in the work he does and has demonstrable notched progress; that guy that respects women and believes that only weak men beat their wives is the real deal. Any guy that does not dress to impress, who is confident of his background and people, who makes a success of his assignments and would not drop names to boost his ego, is the real man. The guy’s ambition should be estimated from the type of friends he keeps, how forward-looking his friends are and how he understands his environment. If he is queer, he has something to hide.
The current crop of good husbands would want their future wives to be partners rather than parasites. Therefore, a daughter must be made to have the ambition to succeed without betraying a trait of competition with the menfolk. Many men are fickle-minded. A smart lady should dress to the occasion and should talk softly and kindly. A charismatic lady’s voice is not supposed to be heard where she is not seen. When she appears, all heads turn to behold a queen of hearts. Grooming school helps achieve these. Yes, the way she talks, smiles and walks indicates how well-groomed she is. Men see these as telltale signs.
Real men know that a snake must give birth to long slender offspring. So, a mother’s known reputation is enough advertisement and is indicative of how the daughters would turn out. So Mama, be careful not to fight your husband, retort, abuse him or display any act of domestic violence before your daughters. They may think it is normal. Today’s suitors are looking for women who would complement them or add value to their lives because of the present harsh economic conditions. A wife married to a young man should at least buy her essential needs at the start. Read the weather and ensure that you guide your daughters towards professions that will make them independent.
Tell your daughters not to measure love by expensive gifts. In fact, they should return any gift from a man which you, her parents, cannot afford. Men value this crop of girls and tend to think that they are real.
A girl must cook well. It is a fundamental value. She must be seen as clean. You will be surprised to know that some men peep to see the state of the clothes a lady leaves out to dry or those in the laundry bags. They are indicative of things unseen. On a visit, the most intelligent guy would ask to use the toilet to ascertain how clean the girl or her family is.
Tell your daughters never to say that they hate mothers-in-law or sisters-in-law openly. They, doing so, turn the real men off. Good men are family-centred. They give all family members their due share of love and care. We are Africans. Funnily enough, non-religious girls with good grooming and inviting credentials marry faster than the godly ones. Perhaps you think that the devil is at work. No. You sell what you produce. Your daughters’ marriage may be faster if you groom and package them well. It is all about the coincidence of wants. Men buy value these days.
Check out a daughter nearby who is said to be ripe but not yet harvested, and you would see many unattractive features or behaviours that discourage men who want peace of mind in a permanent relationship. Many of the yet-to-marry ladies should have seen the suitors. They are wired that way but are not phallused. They have all it takes to marry, but no man or recommender trusts a severe engagement with them.
This is how I see it for now.
