Recently the video of Annie Idibia’ elder brother Wisdom Macaulay where he was bitter over the seeming non -help -stance of his sister towards him went viral .He was angry, embittered and furious.
He narrated how the sister introduced him to drugs, refused him being her manager and all the gibberish talks he bare-facedly put out on the social media.
He was obviously proud that his younger sister introduced him to hard drugs .Honestly he cracked me with such story line, which by mine estimation gave a quick summary of his wacked personality.
The only thing that could make one engage in such outburst and brazen washing of ones dirty linens on social media spaces could be nothing but sense of entitlement.
He was so entitled that he forgot his status as the elder brother who ordinarily should watch the back of his baby sister her that whatever the sister choose to do for him, should not be seen as a right, a responsibility, an entitlement but simply an act of charity and help.
He saw a comfort zone in the generocity of his sister and felt he could larch on it and make an unending entitlement off it.
He is just an image of many in our space today who think that the wealth, fortune and good position of someone close to them, they should be given an unrestricted access to.
Expressions like, since he became rich, he doesn’t have our time, since he got that appointment, he hasn’t helped anybody. He is too stingy, he doesn’t help. Imagine I begged him money, he could only give me this small money. I have been suffering, he doesn’t want to help, All he does is to be sending me on errand. He has forgotten in the hurry how we all started, squatting in one room, now he has money, he doesn’t want to help anybody.
Expressions like the above Abound, a mindset of those who are under the bondage of entitlement. They are unfounded and erroneous belief system that seem to reinforce this sense of entitlement.
The only people one should be entitled to , to a certain degree are ones parents, every other person, what they do for one should be seen as favor not a right, a privilege not an entitlement, charity not an obligation, show of love not a duty etc.
If Annie Idibia ‘ elder brother Wisdom Macaulay knew this, he would probably be greatful for the little act of kindness shown to him.
In as much as it is highly encouraged for one to help those in need and show love with whatever God blesses them with, however, when where, how and to whom such good will should be extended to remains at their discretion.
We are all here, facing same problems, challenges and disappointments. Though, luck comes to us differently, our destinies are not the same too and opportunities come in varied forms . We struggle to make ends meet, nobody picks fortunes on a plater, even those who allegedly got theirs through inordinate means, there is always a prize to pay, too demanding, not everybody could dare it .
When luck and fortune smile at someone, appreciate and rejoice with them. Never for ones see such as a common fortune at the beck and call of all that is close to them. It is theirs and theirs it remains.
Whatever that falls from it to ones laps should be seen as privilege and help and should be appreciated, not provocating any sense of entitlement no matter how small.
Nobody owes anybody anything. Ones challenges and difficulties shouldn’t form part of the liability of ones folks and siblings who fortune smiled at. However, if they decide unpressured to either lend a helping hand or draft such liability to their responsibility ,such remains their personal choice, to be lauded anyway, not one that should attract emotional blackmail and ruffling of personality.
As we all need one another ‘ shoulder to climb, no one individual shoulder should be the beginning and end it all. If one particular shoulder fails to provide the prop, move on to the next shoulder ungrudgingly devoid of hard feelings.
No height in life is achieved without any prop from the external. As one props people to get to a height in life, such help should also remain entitlement free. It should be as free as possible without an unending demand of an entitled reciprocation.
Any help that is done on the basis of reciprocation is nothing but an emotional blackmail. True help is one that is done without putting the beneficiaries on an emotional bondage of paying back in equal measure.
Stop seeing one as a bad person because one didn’t help.
Stop branding one as stingy because one gave less than expected.
Stop blackmailing people because of the fraternity they share, such fraternal love doesn’t give anybody a shareholder status in their fortune.
We have our challenges , pains and unattained prospects. When we see people from afar, their flashy cars, their big houses, the flowing snow white apparel etc, their challenges are abound too.
Only if one could be in their shoes, walk in them, one would know that they cry even more than we do.
Giving isn’t a one way thing. None is too poor not to give and none too rich not to receive. Don’t be always on the side of receiving, give too,no matter how small, just give. Your smile, your services, your “how are you sir”, etc might be rejuvenating and healing too.
Give and move on, don’t give with an expectation of getting such gesture back in equal measure such is not giving but deposit and stashing, to be given or demanded back.
Strive and struggle, try to be the best one can be , ones lane of calling, passion and expertise should be maintained. Don’t get distracted by the bloom, boom and glow of someone else’s lane by developing an entitlement mindset. Today is his, yesterday was somebody’s else’s and tomorrow might be yours.
Happy Lenten season
