Times have changed. For some time now, weddings have witnessed uncommon sights which are now becoming common due to their frequent occurrence; men crying on their wedding day. It used to be the other way round where we see brides shedding tears of joy on their wedding day in a usually emotional site, from walking the aisle to saying the vows and then the special couple dance sandwiched in a soft music.
Crying grooms create scenes packed with so much detail. It could be funny and serious depending on the circumstances. In one of the recent videos where the groom was crying, the bride who had the microphone in her hand asked him “Emeka why are you crying”. Her question and the way she asked it was a kind of comic relief to the crying scene. She was being romantic and reassuring, as if saying to her husband not to worry about the journey, both the past and the future which they are about to embark on.
In another instance, this time the young man was crying and visibly shaking, he was overwhelmed with emotions. The site was almost heartbreaking though it had that “awwn” effect. To summarise it, he wept with reckless abandon or uncontrollably as some would say.
Why are these grooms suddenly crying? Maybe men are becoming more emotional than they used to be.
It goes beyond that, for then we should also ask why the brides are not crying. Have they stopped having emotions, maybe yes, maybe no.
Let’s say for now that the men are crying because of the anxiety or chaos in the heart of young men and girls of this age and the dangers they pose to productive or meaningful relationships, and secondly because of the job of being a youth in Nigeria or to be a little more formal, the job of being a future leader in Nigeria.
What does it take to succeed as a youth in Nigeria? It takes everything and more. The youths of Nigeria are dangerously helpless in a terrible mixture of realities. The fathers and mothers cannot help the young ones which make matters worse. The elderly themselves are in a fast paced chaos; politically, professionally and family wise.
Before, young people were considered safe from the hard Nigerian life if their parents are well-off financially or have good social standing, but it is no longer so today. Parents have to be in the ‘main’ corridors of power to work magic for their children while those who have no one to help them are advised by those who loot the country dry to go into entrepreneurship. It is pathetic!
Most young people must pass through every damaged sector in the country in order to make it in life; it seems nothing is done without complications. They struggle through school, wading across the insincere craze between the government and incessant ASUU strikes. When they finally graduate, they must be careful during their service year to not fall victims to insecurity in the country, which is after being lucky to escape while in school.
They go into the job market and find that everything is messed up, the big guns have reserved juicy posts for their children who are still in secondary school (some even collect salary) while the few remaining spots are up for sale at crazy cost. While the youths are waiting they will be accused of being lazy, over dependent, lacking creativity. No wonder many go into internet fraud. The funny thing is that those who accuse the youths of lacking creativity or being lazy are themselves epitome of what they call the youths.
Is there any positive creativity in politics rather than the creativity of destruction and personal gains through paper theft and the likes?
Speaking about the anxiety or chaos in the heart of young men and women, due to the constant development of Information, Communication and Technology, there is an increasing knowledge overload in the human mind today. This knowledge or information overload affects everyone irrespective of age, gender or status, but it is more pronounced in the youths. The enormous amount of content online is mindboggling.
Even if a person decides to limit his or her exposure to technology, this same person must relate with those who are constantly being impacted by the complex culture of technology.
A great aspect of human life today is redefined by changing civilisation and global trends. Human relationships of all kinds are not as they used to be. New codes of conducts are made on the spot and they too do not last as new ones come to replace them in weeks, months or even days. Consequently, a lot of young people are inadvertently trapped in the bridge of time.
So he can decide to either damn the considerations and consequences by going into matrimony knowing that the worst that can come out of the union is a divorce or separation, not to mention the life-threatening physical assaults that occur in some unions. He can also decide to be careful; to become economically stable even if not affluent, to check his mental state and that of his partner for a commitment such as marriage, while also considering external factors.
So when you see the groom crying like a baby on the happiest day of his life, holding his wife, it speaks of triumph over obstacles; he has won a ‘war’.
But what about the war in the society ?
Insecurity in Nigeria has refused to go away because some in power do not want it to go away. Some days ago the army was ambushed by ISWAP which left a general dead along with some of his men. This is not even the first time a top officer of the Nigerian military is dying in an internal war, not an external war, to be honest, it is shameful.
President Buhari appears to be addicted to infrastructure development; it is a good addiction one must admit, but what is the use of developing infrastructure where insecurity ravages the country incessantly and those who are to benefit from the infrastructure are nowhere to be found. The best reaction we get is for the government and notable individuals to release statement containing ‘strong’ condemnation of attacks on lives and properties. Maybe this is one of the reasons the grooms are crying.
If there is political will, you can rest assured that insecurity will be a thing of the past in Nigeria. Do you know the intelligence gathering, reconnaissance and other resources used in capturing the likes of Nnamdi Kanu, Sunday Igboho and the Endsars protesters along with their financiers (some people where even tracked to their homes) is more difficult than what is required to tackle insecurity in the country.
If he wants to…….
If he wants to…….
If he really wants to
The president can end insecurity today and tomorrow.