Alas! It’s time to ban every “community penis”

Stanley Ugagbe

Stanley Ugagbe

In my sensational return from a nearly two-month article writing break, I had hoped to start by critically harping on the retinue of repugnant and insalubrious anomalies cascading our nation into a ‘weed’ – that a certain Nigerian religious preacher had suggested that we uproot and plant another.

More precisely, I wanted to x-ray what I had conceived in my inner writing tank and titled “The Trinity of Disaster”. But, necessity came upon me to quickly harp on a certain anomaly that has surreptitiously metamorphosed into a full-blown pandemic.

At first, I thought I was the only one who was deeply concerned and restlessly disturbed about the development, but the recent report by the United Nations sexual and reproductive health agency, United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) did not only show that the body is also distressed but also vindicated me – it shows that I’m still thinking properly.

Maybe because I’m a Nigerian who is truly concerned about happenings in Nigeria, I was wondering why the scourge has become a norm in the society, I was actually thinking that the height of it is exclusive to Nigeria – little did I know it has become a worldwide scourge that has even degenerated into a pandemic.

Just before you start wondering where this ship is headed, I’m alarmed by the staggering rate of single mothers, unintended pregnancies, and unscrupulous abortions. You see a beautiful young girl with a very promising future, the next thing you hear is that she is a single mother to a child or more. And in the case where she has no child, lots of them have done a series of abortions.

The sad part of this unscrupulous anomaly is that in most cases, only the female suffers the consequences and is stigmatized while the boy who planted the seed walks around freely. Is this not enough reason for our sisters to close their legs? And on a lighter note, I wonder where you people get the motivation and strength to be knacking in this excruciating hard times😏.

The society is now littered with single mothers, and this is not exclusive to only the uneducated ones, this is not exclusive to only the ones who are not Christians/Muslims, this is not exclusive to only the ones who have not left Babylon – whether uneducated, educated, Christian/Muslim, or atheist, our sisters just dey get belle wotowoto. You come on social media and these influencers are sharing “Hide my I.D and post for me, I had sex with my boyfriend and also slept with another guy, now I’m pregnant bla bla bla”.

As a concerned fellow, I am wondering what exactly is happening? How is it that there are so many single mothers? Why are our brothers doing this wickedness of making our sisters’ single mothers? How is it that sex has become so trivialized that anybody can sleep with anybody and the act is seen as normal? Who changed the process of becoming a mother/father? Oh! Our sisters just the spread legs wotowoto and our brothers dey braggadociously dive-in yaga-yaga – and in the end, belle just dey enter nyanfu-nyanfu!

Sardonically, in the groundbreaking report titled “Seeing the unseen: The case for action in the neglected crisis of unintended pregnancy,” UNFPA said nearly half of all pregnancies, totaling 121 million each year throughout the world, are unintended. As staggering as the figure is, ‘e sure me say dem no count the ones for my village and your village”. The report added that over 60% of unintended pregnancies end in abortion.

Hackneyed and old school as this may sound, I cannot appropriately fathom how we got to this point where our sisters are comfortably spreading legs for guys who have not paid a dime on their heads. And again, I seem not to comprehend why we are not learning from others’ mistakes – that in every 10 girls out there, one is a single mother – and like I mentioned above, in most cases where there is no child, a series of abortions have been done.

Again, I want to ask our brothers – why are you impregnating somebody’s daughter that you’re not married to? And to think that most of these guys don’t take responsibility after wanting it raw!

From another perspective, I often wonder how people comfortably have sex with people they know nothing about their medical history. You meet someone and after a little chat, sister don spread legs, brother don dive-in. You come on social media and everywhere is littered with sex talks and you wonder “whether na only sex we come this life come sex”.

Since our sisters don’t want to learn from others’ mistakes and close their legs, and since our brothers will never want to heed abstinence’s counsel; to curb the issues of the growing pandemic of single mothers and unintended pregnancies, I am proposing that we ban every “community” penis!

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Professor Jideofor Adibe


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