11-month old marriage on the brink as wife calls husband’s mum, prostitute

A bitter Nigerian man has taken to the public to ask his online in-laws to advice him on how to handle the issues of his marriage.

In a post shared by social influencer Amanda Chisom, the troubled man averred that his wife is bossing him on what and what not to do and has even mandated him to stay away from some of his sisters.

He wrote;

I am a young man of 35 years, I met my wife on Facebook some years back, I knew her already right from her childhood because we were from the same village. I left village very early to school in a nearby town where I have stayed for over seventeen years. With the aid of Facebook, I saw a pop up picture of a beautiful girl on friends you may know, I clicked the request button and she accepted my friend request. I knew she was the person I know though she had really changed, I can’t remember the last time I saw her in the village before my travelling to town. As time goes on she introduced herself to me and we started discussing.

To cut the story short, on January 2nd 2021, we got married. During our introduction, I saw some set of girls in a canopy, they said they were her friends, they came to witness our introduction rites. Fortunately, one of those her friends was my relation whose senior brother called me to ask me questions about my wife, if I know her too well and how long I have known her, I told him I know her to an extent, he said Okay and wished me good luck. I came back and out of love and husband and wife discussions I told my wife of my discussion with a brother, my wife got angry and asked why my brother would ask me such questions. I never knew she was very bothered, she concluded that it was my brother’s sister who is her friend that asked my brother to call me for some questions. I told her to forget about those things.

During our traditional marriage preparation, my wife began to have issues with some of her friends, I don’t really know what led to their problem that four of the girls now refused to do Ashebi for my wife, and I told my wife since there is problem between them, that she should get rid of them and focus on other people that are interested. She did and we had a successful traditional marriage where those of her friends came too each with their gifts and my wife collected.

Fast forward to August, this my extended sister who was her friend and among those my wife quarrelled with was about getting married, my extended sister’s mother one day saw me in the village during a service and whispered to me, your sister will soon be getting married, help me tell your mum and I want you to be there too. I went home and told my wife that my sister is getting married who is her friend before they had issue, I asked my wife to please call my sister and congratulate her and what my wife told me is that I should go to hell with my fucking sister, I pleaded with her that even if it’s not from her heart provided she came during your introduction and our traditional marriage with gift you should reciprocate by calling her. My wife started cursing me and my family, I responded by cursing her back and asked why she doesn’t want to let things slide.

My wife then went and wrote abusive messages and sent to my sister and told her everything I had discussed with my sister’s brother, my sister’s brother now had to call me with the pretence of wanting to discuss about my sister’s marriage stuffs, I went and after some discussions my brother brought out his phone and showed me the messages that contained my discussion with him before my marriage, it now turned to be that this my sister received the message from my wife and forwarded it to his brother. I couldn’t believe myself. I started having problems with that my brother but as men we were able to manage it and fix my sister too, my wife did not stop there, she traced my sister’s husband to be and wrote bad things about my sister and sent to her husband to be. I was told about it and the message she sent screenshot and sent to me, I confronted myself she started cursing me with every manner of curse, she had to call my mum a prostitute, stingy woman and what have you, i tried not to let my mum know rather I reported to my wife’s big sister who stays in Lagos. Later my wife pleaded with me for cursing my mum and we moved on.

Just few days ago, one of those my wife’s friend posted a picture, note that we all are from the same village and I commented pretty, my wife had to tell me to stop commenting on her enemies post and that her friend should stop commenting on my post too, when I told her to get rid of what has happened that those things are now in the past as I don’t know the genesis of their problems, my wife started cursing me again, telling me how I have not been progressing, telling me to choose between her and her friends and I’m not even close to these her friends she’s having issues with, she’s very bitter whenever she remember those her friends and I as a person does not have problem with anyone of them hence she’s Mandating me to join her in her enmity saga.

Her issues with this her group of friends have caused my marriage a bitter experience, my challenge now is that my relation is one of these her friends and I don’t have issues with her but my wife is bent on asking me to see her as my enemy. She said her enemy should be her enemy even when my relation is involved, this her energy over enemy stuff is breaking my home.

I don’t know what to do. I need advice.

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